Squishy: Hugger of Worlds
by Invader Johnny
Summary: There is nothing deadlier in the universe than a hugger, all worlds know this, because the moment Squishy wants to hug you, it only means one thing…. Doom is coming. Based on JV's cancelled episode of the same name.
1. Act I

**_Squishy: Hugger of Worlds._**

 ** _Writer: Invader Johnny._**

 ** _Disclaimer: The show belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, I own squat!_**

 ** _Plot: There is nothing deadlier in the universe than a hugger, all worlds know this, because the moment Squishy wants to hug you, it only means one thing…. Doom is coming._**

 ** _Author Notes: This fic is taken from Invader Zim's cancelled episode of the same name, this is just my interpretation of what could have been but I'm sure that most likely this version is not what Jhonen Vasquez, Eric Trueheart or Rikki Simmons envisioned._**

 ** _Nevertheless, I hope to make the idea justice._**

* * *

On the bridge of The Massive, the Tallest were lounging around while the navigators flew the Armada's capital ship in the cold vacuum of space.

"I'm so boooooooored." Purpled whined from his throne.

"Well go and _do_ something." Red snapped, munching on some chips.

"I am!" Purple said "I'm complaining that there's nothing to do!"

"Do something **_else_** then!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know." His co-ruler replied, getting annoyed "Just **_think_** of something, it's not that hard. Well, maybe it is for _you_.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Noooo." Red said with heavy sarcasm "I would never do that."

But before Purple could give out a half decent retort, a crewman interrupted his leaders. "Incoming planet, known as Jupiter, My Tallest."

"Defenses?"

"None, sir." A scanner operator replied. "In fact, it seems to be nothing more than a gas giant."

Purple excitedly began to jump up and down like a little smeet about to receive a slydoodeedoo.

"Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"I don't know, _can_ you?"

Purple looks blankly at his co-ruler "Seriously, I feel like that's sarcasm."

"Of for the love of…" Red slaps himself in the forehead "No one's stopping you! We have **_unlimited_** power **_remember?!_** "

"Oh yeah!" Purple makes a sound like a giddy little smeet and floats to a cannon console.

"Sirs, a huge object is closing in on us!" The same Scanner Operator reported "And its **_HUGE!_** "

"We're gonna die!" A random crewman shouts terrified "I don't wanna!"

A female crewmember smacks him " ** _Calm down_ _!_** It's headed for the planet."

"Hey! Not fair!" Purple pouts "I wanna destroy that planet!"

"Sirs it's… _hugging_ the planet!"

Outside the Massive the huge purple creature was laughing joyfully, his nubby arms enthusiastically getting around the planet "Hi planet! I'm Squishy!" The creature said introducing himself "I like warm hugs!"

* * *

Back on The Massive:

 ** _"HE'S WHAT?!"_** Purple bellowed "Die! You planet…. Hugging… thingy!"

He fires cannon, and the blast goes in the opposite direction of Squishy and the planet.

"You are the **_WORST_** shot I have ever seen." Red said.

"He's right, sir."

Purple presses a button and a tube came out of seemingly nowhere and shoots the Irken crewman into space.

"Sirs! The planet's gonna burst!"

 ** _BOOOM!-INCOMING METEORS!_**

The Massive rattles around and everyone flies around the bridge, gravity  
being knocked out.

 ** _"Artificial gravity, reestablished."_** A computer said.

Everyone hits the floor.

Red Groan "What on **_Irk_** was that?"

The main screen showed Squishy holding what remained of Jupiter (How is that possible I'll leave it to speculation) He looks quite sad.

"Aww, such a short hug."

The computer scanned the planet size creature and information appeared on the screen.

Red began to read the Irken text. "Unbelievable, Its Squishy!"

"Who?" Purple asked uninterested.

"The Hugger of Worlds!"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"That huge creature that **_hugged_** the planet and nearly killed us you idiot!"

"Ohhh… Nope… Still nothing."

Red aggravated grabbed Purple and shoved his face towards the main screen which showed Squishy floating away in search of a new target.

"Hey! That's the guy that blew up the planet I wanted to blow up!" Purple said, realization finally setting in. "No one blows a planet but us! I want revenge! I wanna make him sad!"

"He's already sad My Tallest."

A tube threw the crewman out in the cold vacuum of space.

"I wanna make him **_sadder!_** "

"Sheesh, just blow him up!" Red said dismissively.

" ** _NO!_** That's not good enough! I want to take his next planet!"

"Hey smoke brain, you're going to head after a dangerous hugging blob and risk  
death and destruction just to make it sad?"

" _Sadder_ , and yes, yes, I am."

"May I remind you that it's _our_ destruction you're risking here!?"

"No."

"How did I get stuck with you?" Red muttered, rubbing his temple, he was getting a migraine.

"We're the same height." Purple shrugged, stating the obvious.

"What I wouldn't **_kill_** for a growth spurt." Red said quietly "Or maybe if I kill _someone_ I won't need a growth spurt."

He said the last part while looking at Purple evilly.

"Hey you, Skrang!" Purple shouts pointing at the engineer "Where's it going?"

"I dunno my Tallest." Skrang shrugs, that is until he sees a tube right above him and in an attempt to save his life he shouts the first name that comes to mind. ** _"EARTH SIR!"_**

Red is snapped out of his evil thoughts about Purple dying by something he loves more, the thought of **_Zim_** dying. "Great! It'll destroy Zim and Skoodge, too! We should throw it a party or something! I can't believe it's going to kill Zim, I can finally cross that off my bucket list!"

"No, you won't!"

 ** _"SAY WHAT?!"_** Red snapped, once more giving Purple the evil eye "If we go there he'll think the armada's coming! Let Squishy kill him! Come on! You know you want to!"

"Have a snack!" Purple shoves snack into Red's mouth causing him to gag and pass out.

 ** _"FOLLOW IT!"_** Purple bellowed "Unless you **_all_** want to take his place."

The Irken crewmen did as they were told.

They all had a feeling they were doomed.

* * *

 _Zim's base_

Zim is standing in front of the computer; blue prints for his latest evil plan are on the computer screen, they involve Dib and a large number of sharp, and/or explosive objects, and a bunch of menacing looking beavers.

"Computer, scout the area surrounding the planet to find the best possible angle of release for the beavers."

 ** _"But, I don't wanna."_** The Computer moaned **_"I'm tired of this life, destroying planets, and stuff. I want to follow my dream of becoming a deranged comic book artist. "_**

"Comic book artist?" Zim asked incredulously "But you don't even have fingers!"

 ** _"It's not fair, all the other Invaders' computers got to follow their dreams."_**

"Yes, because they actually **_helped_** take over their assigned planets."

 ** _"I told you my plan, to take over the world through children's animation."_**

"And I told you to stop watching that horrible Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy cartoon!" Zim bellowed, pointing dramatically at the ceiling. "Its clearly giving you the Brain-worms!"

 ** _"But it's so addictive!"_**

"Blah! Blah! Blah! All I hear is stuff coming out of your noise box that have nothing to do with _my ingenious_ plan!" The Irken says aggravated "Now, find a place to release the beavers! **_I COMMAND YOU!_** "

The Computer sighs, annoyed **_"Fine."_**

We hear a series of beeps, whirs and other mechanical noises.

"The best possible place of release is the moon."

"Excellent, now I can…."

 ** _"And by the way, the fabled Squishy: Hugger of Worlds is heading straight for Earth."_**

 ** _"Oh no! Not Squishy!"_** Zim's eyes bulged out of his eye sockets "Agh! Wait, who's Squishy again?"

A view screen extends from a slot in the wall displaying a reel of Squishy hugging an unsuspecting planet, _(he looks similar to the little kid in Fry Cook What Came from All That Space that pointed at stuff, but a hell of a lot bigger and annoying.)_

 ** _"Squishy is a giant mutant purple freak who expresses joy by hugging worlds."_**

"Oh, well that doesn't sound so bad."

 ** _"Until they explode."_**

"That's actually kind of funny." Zim snickers maliciously.

 ** _"He's headed here."_**

"That's great." The Irken said, beginning to walk away, stopping right in his tracks… Two minutes later. "Oh, wait no! That's bad, **_I_** have to destroy the Earth! We have to stop him!"

 ** _"Through children's animation?"_** The Computer asked hopefully.

Zim raises non-existent eyebrow at computer. "No, I was thinking that we could do something that would, you know, **_work_**. Now, give me solutions that don't involve cartoons!"

 ** _"Ok fine."_** The Computer grumbled ** _"You take two Voot Cruisers and fly out one serves as a distraction from Earth, the other tries to get him to hug something else, and then as soon as it explodes makes sure he doesn't remember that he wanted to hug the Earth in the first place."_**

"We could make him hug the sun!"

"I guess that would work."

"But how could we make him do that…?" Zim pondered "Wait! I've got it! We'll take two Voot Cruisers and fly out one as a distraction from Earth, the other tries to get him to hug the sun, and then as soon as it explodes makes sure he doesn't remember that he wanted to hug the Earth in the first place. Why didn't **_you_** think of that Computer?!"

 ** _"I did."_**

 ** _"YOU LIE!"_** Zim makes a dramatic pose.

 ** _"I hate you."_** The Computer sighs ** _"But sir, that's not such a good idea, I mean, about the sun, with the sun gone then…"_**

 ** _"Silence! I'm amazing!"_** Zim shouts "Skoodge, get in here!"

A few floor tiles move and Skoodge's head pops up from under them.

"Yes? "

"There you are, wait… what were you doing under the floor tiles?"

"I was just burying myself like you told me to."

Zim chuckled at that "Oh, _yes_ , well you'll have to get back to that later."

"How much later?"

 ** _"WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!"_**

"I just wanna know so I can put it on my day planner."

Zim's left eye began to twitch uncontrollably "Right **_now_** Squishy; hugger of worlds, is headed for Earth and we need your Spittle Runner to stop him."

"But I don't have a ship, I crash-landed here." The fat Invader pointed out "I even lost my S.I.R. unit. We're lucky I'm even alive."

 _"Lucky?"_ Zim sneered "An Invader without a S.I.R. unit or a Spittle Runner! Are you just completely useless then?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, that's just great." The defective raised his arms in annoyance "Now what are we going to do? We can't use any other type of ship, nothing on this planet is that light and heavily armed, and it's not like anyone else on this planet has a Voot Cruiser."

 ** _"The Dib human has Tak's ship."_**

"No! I'd rather wait here for the doom hug than ask the Dib-worm for help!"

 ** _"That's idiotic on so many levels."_** The Computer snaps exasperatedly **_"You'd rather sit here and wait to be hugged to death than work with Dib, even though you've done it before?"_**

"Yes."

 ** _"Seriously Zim, you have to work with him. Be reasonable!"_**

 ** _"NEVER!"_**

 ** _"You're right, I dunno what I was thinking, you can't be reasoned with."_**

"And don't **_you_** forget it!" Zim boasts proudly "... Wait."

"Then maybe we should just leave." Skoodge suggested "You know before the planet explodes.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Zim said accusingly "You'd like for Earth to explode, so that you can rub in my face that you conquered Bloch and I didn't destroy this dirt ball! Well too bad, because we're going to the Dib-human's house now, so we can save the Earth! Skoodge, I'll need you to pilot the distraction ship, Computer! Tell GIR to get his disguise, he's coming too. MiniMoose, stay here and monitor the beavers."

 _"Nyah!"_

"Yay! I get to be the distraction!"

 ** _"You know Zim's most likely going to sacrifice you, right?"_**

"He's never done that before." Skoodge said obliviously, getting his disguise which were unsurprisingly contacts and a wig "Why would he start now?"

 ** _"I'm surrounded by idiots."_**

* * *

 _A few minutes Later at the Membrane House._

Zim walks up to the door. Skoodge and GIR are behind him. He rings the doorbell and Gaz answers the door, she has her Game Slave 2 in hand. She looks up from her game and sees Zim, she doesn't say anything, she just turns around and walks back into the house and sits down on the couch. Zim and the others follow her, and Skoodge shuts the door behind them. Gir takes off his disguise, sits down on the couch and turns on the TV as if he's at home.

 ** _"GIR!"_** Zim hissed "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV!" The S.I.R Unit chirped happily "Look it's my favorite show!" He flips through TV channels, laughing maniacally as he does so.

"We don't have time for this! Gaz-human, where is you big-head brother? Your hideous world is in danger again! We have to…"

"Be quiet, your voice should die." Gaz growled dangerously "Dib is outside in the backyard. Just try not to bring him back alive this time."

"What you think I been trying to do since I landed on this horrible planet?!"

* * *

 _Backyard_

Dib is up in a tree with a pair of binoculars, muttering something about singing pirate meat bees, dubbing them "Beefus Megabombus."

He hears someone opening the back door and turns around. When he sees Zim he is shocked, screams and falls out of the tree, hitting almost every branch on the way down, when he hits the ground there is a fairly large stick in his hair.

"Zim!?" Dib shouts pointing at his hated enemy "What are you doing here?! I don't know what you're up to, but I'll stop you! I've…I've got a stick!"

The boy pathetically pulls stick out of hair and holds it up in self-defense.

Zim looks at the stick, raising a non-existent eyebrow. "You, uh, hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

Dib rubs head "Mmyup… Wait… Stop trying to distract me! What are you doing here? What are you up to alien scum?!"

He pokes Zim with stick repeatedly, much to the Invader's irritation."

"Hey, quit it Dib-Stink! I'm here to save your stupid world from Squishy, a horrible mutant freak who expresses joy by hugging planets until they explode! He's on his way here! We don't have much time."

Yeah right, that's stupid, did you really think I'd fall for that?" Dib asked while increasing the severity of poking with the stick.

"If I was going to trick you don't you think I could come up with a better story than that?!"

"That's true." Dib pondered "But maybe **_that's_** just what you want me to think!" He continues with the poking.

The Irken quickly got annoyed, he grabbed the stick and throws it over the fence.

"Hey! That was my stick!"

"Dib-worm." Zim said, crossing his arms "Have I ever lied to you about your planet being in danger besides me trying to destroy it before?"

"Of course, you have!" Dib replied "Wait a minute, no you haven't, that's strange, I thought you had. Why haven't you?"

"That's a good question, but it doesn't matter! I'm not lying to you **_now_**."

"Then that's horrible!" Dib yells "How are we supposed to stop a giant mutant planet-hugging freak?"

"I have a plan." Zim said "Such an amazing plan do I have! But I need another Voot Cruiser, I'll need you to fly Tak's ship."

"Erm, well, the thing is that I can't really fly it."

"Pitiful human! Did you break it again?"

"Oh, it's fixed; I just can't fly it…. And what do you mean _again?_ " Dib asked annoyed "I used it before! You seen me fly it tons of times!"

 ** _"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!"_**

"I am not!" Dib shouts exasperatedly, panting as he tries to calms down a bit, he then grins evilly when a thought came to mind "Why don't you try to fly it, Zim?"

"You know what? I **_will_** try, and I will succeed pitiful Earth-stink."

Zim walks over to Tak's ship, gets inside and pushes some buttons. Suddenly, we hear thunder even though the sky is perfectly clear.

 ** _"Get out!"_** Tak's Ship said darkly.

To Zim's horror, the ship had a very scary voice that send shivers down his spine "Gaz-Beast? What the…?"

 ** _"I have Gaz's personality."_** The Ship sneered **_"Which is an improvement over the last one."_**

"Hey!" Dib shouts offended.

 ** _"She downloaded it when Dib drank the last soda, so as punishment he can't fly me till Gaz feels like it."_** The Ship explained coldly **_"Now get out! Your voice is stupid."_**

The ship sets off a blaring alarm.

"I don't care whose personality you have, you're still Irken property!" Zim shouts "I controlled you when you had the Dib-worm's personality and I can control you now!"

Zim takes out remote and presses buttons, and the alarm stops. "Ha! Now, what do you have to say?"

 ** _"Get out or else!"_** The alarm starts up again.

"Huh?! **_IMPOSSIBLE!_** "

 ** _"You had your chance!"_**

Cords come out of the ship and wrap Zim up. Electricity starts to course through them as if they are building up a shock of some kind. The shot goes back to Dib, smiling like a kid at Christmas (one where Santa wasn't evil and bent on world domination), and we see the light of the shock reflecting on him as we hear a zap and Zim lets out a horrible scream of sheer agony. This is followed by a series of horrible noises, Zim continues screaming throughout the whole thing. Suddenly, the ship sends Zim flying through the air we see him land on the ground next to Dib, he's in a fetal position, still slightly smoking, chunks of his skin are charred and/or missing.

The door opens and Gaz comes outside, she has her Game Slave II, but puts it in her pocket when she sees what is going on. She walks up behind them, slightly angry, but very amused.

She kicks Zim as a final insult to injury "Have fun in **_my_** ship?"

"It hurts." The Irken whimpered pitifully "So much."

"I know." She snickered "Isn't it great?"

 ** _"NO!"_**

"What are you doing here anyway?" Gaz asked, not really caring.

"Because of a giant mutant freak named Squishy who expresses joy by hugging planets!" Dib answered instead.

"That's actually kind of funny." His sister said, snickering.

"He's on his way here." Zim groaned as he got to his feet.

" _That's_ really funny." Gaz was now fully laughing.

Zim and Dib look at her as if she was nuts.

"Why are you upset that Squishy is going to destroy the Earth?" Gaz asked the Invader "I thought you would be happy about that?"

Well I'm **_not_**!" Zim snarled "Because destroying Earth is _my_ job."

"So?" She shrugs "Why don't you just tell your leaders that you did it?"

"Yeah, Zim." Skoodge pops up out of nowhere "You could just tell the Tallest you did it."

"Because that's not the Invader way!" Zim proclaimed "Wait, Skoodge? When did you get out here?"

"A few seconds ago." He replied "So, you're not saving the planet, right?"

"I will! Because no Invader leaves his assignment incomplete!"

Inside the Membrane home we hear GIR laughing insanely ** _"YAY! SCARY MONKEY! DON'T EVER CHANGE!"_**

"That monkey." Zim narrowed his eyes Hatefully, "Change of plans! We leave this world and the monkey dies!"

"That means we can leave, right?" Skoodge asked, taking a step back.

" ** _YES!_** I hate that Monkey more than I hate the Humans!" Zim snarled "GIR get out here!" He takes out a remote and starts pressing buttons "I'll just have MiniMoose put the base back into compact form and bring the Voot Cruiser."

"Wait, so you're not going to save the Earth!?" Dib shouts "What about all that garbage about not being the Invader way?!"

"If you had the chance to destroy that monkey, wouldn't _you_ take it?!" Zim growled eerily deadly, something that surprised everyone, Gaz included.

"Well, what about you Gaz? Together we can…"

"You think I want to save this place?" She sneered "I knew you were crazy, but I didn't know you were _that_ crazy."

"So that's it then. No more Earth…"

"You can stay if you want to; we're not forcing you to come with us you know." Gaz told her brother "Actually, I think I speak for everyone else here as well as myself when I say it would be a lot better if you **_didn't_** come."

Dib thinks about it for a moment and sighs dejectedly, knowing he couldn't save the planet by himself against a planet hugging freak "I'm coming."

"Well, you're not coming in _my_ ship." Gaz said firmly.

"You expect **_me_** to take him?" Zim said with disdain "I already have to put up with GIR, MiniMoose, and Skoodge!"

"You certainly can't expect me to take him, his voice is so horrible, and who knows how long it will be before we stop somewhere. No way."

"I guess you're stuck here then." Zim told his enemy dismissively "Oh well."

Dib waves arms frantically as if doing so would help him come up with a way to save himself "Wait! Gaz, what if you and Zim took one ship and the rest of us took the other, then we wouldn't be able to annoy you."

"I guess that works, as long as he's quiet, he's less annoying than the rest of you, kind of. Well, I don't really know about the new one. You!" She points at Skoodge "Are you more annoying than Zim?"

"Loads more." Skoodge nods enthusiastically.

" _Fine,"_ Gaz relented "I'll take Zim then." She turns to the alien "But if you do _anything_ to annoy me I'm throwing you out the air lock. Got it?"

"Ye…"

"Talking qualifies as annoying me!"

Zim shuts up and nods fearfully.

So, with places being agreed upon, Gaz and Zim get inside Tak's5 Gaz's ship, and the security is again activated by Zim's presence, and he is beaten up and thrown out of the ship.

"You didn't turn the security off!?"

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"You're right; I'm not. But fine, I'll turn it off." She says with an eye roll as she presses some buttons. "Now, get in or I'll leave without you and you'll have to go with _them_."

Zim gets up and runs faster than anyone who had been tortured and then violently thrown from a ship twice in a ten-minute period of time has ever run before and gets in the ship. Gaz's ship closes and takes off.

A few seconds later the Voot Cruiser lands on the lawn and opens; MiniMoose is already inside. Dib, Skoodge and GIR get inside and it closes. Skoodge presses some buttons and the Voot Cruiser takes off too. Even after they get out into space Dib continues to stare at the Earth. He just sighs as they fly past Squishy, headed towards Earth.

"I see a new friend!" Squishy said stupidly, as he joyfully wiggled his arms, ready for another hugging session.

"Oh well, Earth really wasn't that great after all." Dib lamented "I wish I'd gotten to see those pirate bees, though."

"Don't be sad Mary!" GIR chirped excitedly "I know what you need. A hug!"

"No, really it's ok, I'm fin…"

The S.I.R Unit hugs the big-headed boy.

Dib sighs and runs his hand through his hair as if that will somehow make GIR less annoying. "Whatever." He turns to the fat Irken. "Any chance I could have a turn flying this thing?

"Eh, I don't know about that…"

"Oh, come on. I mean, come on! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Wow, you **_are_ annoying." Skoodge says.**

* * *

 _ **Truth be told, originally I had planned to post this as a one-shot but it became so massive (pun intended) that I decided to cut this fic in half.**_

 _ **I always imagined that Zim hates the "Scary Monkey" a lot more than he hates the human race, which of course made his whole decision to leave Earth a lot quicker, it was also implied in the X-Mas Special that he has softened some of his views on humanity.**_

 _ **Anyway, don't you guys worry, things will take quite the unexpected turn in the following chapter.**_

 _ **That being said, I will post act II in a few days.**_

 _ **Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	2. Act II

_**Like I said, I promised you g**_ _ **uys that I would post in a few days, so here it is: Act II.**_

* * *

 _In Gaz's Ship._

Gaz is playing her Gams Slave 2. Zim alternates between looking over her shoulder and out the window. As the sounds of the game intensify Zim only looks out the window when she notices that he is watching her and gets a dangerously agitated look on her face.

Eventually the game gets to a point where Gaz is so immersed in her game that she either no longer knows or cares that Zim is looking over her shoulder.

We see the Massive outside the window of their ship, but they don't notice it, but seeing as an incredible game of "Vampire Piggy Hunter" is being played, we forgive them. Inside their ship a screen starts blinking with the words "Incoming Transmission." It is completely ignored.

 ** _"Incoming Transmission from Zim's Voot Cruiser."_** The Ship's computer boomed, finally getting their attention.

Gaz spoke in a distracted, possessed gamer voice "Let them through. You talk to them, Zim."

"Huh?" He blinks and shakes his head to disengage himself from the game. "Oh, yeah alright."

The interior of Zim's Voot can be seen on the screen. Dib and Skoodge are standing in front of the screen, behind them GIR and MiniMoose are dancing while the S.I.R Unit yells what one could call (but only for lack of a better term) a song. Dib's hair is a mess, as if he's been running his fingers through it in frustration since they took off, both he and Skoodge look as if they're about to snap, curl up into a fetal position and burst into tears of anguish and insanity.

"We're not changing the seating arrangements; it's obvious by the looks of you two that's why you called."

Skoodge and Dib exchange glances of lost hope.

"Oh, well, ok." Skoodge lowered his head in defeat "But I was also going to make sure you knew that the Tallest are here."

" ** _WHAT?!_** The Tallest? Here? They never come out here!" Zim shouts at the top of his Squeedly Spooch "You've obviously caught the Dib-worm's insanity, it was inevitable, being stuck with him in such a small space with him. You just better hope your head doesn't start to get bigger."

Skoodge self-consciously feels his head to check for growth "No, really Zim, the Tallest _are_ here, The Massive is right outside your window."

Yeah right, Skoodge there's **_NOTHING_** outside that window except a couple of asteroids left over from that planet battle Dib and I had a couple of months ago."

Zim looks out the window with a smug expression on his face. When he sees the Massive he blinks, takes out his contacts, rubs his eyes and looks outside the window again.

"Oh no! I was wrong! The Massive **_is_** here!" He shouts terrified "We have to go back! If we don't, the Tallest **_will know_** I didn't destroy the Earth!"

Zim tries to pilot the ship, but to no avail, the ship won't obey anyone except Gaz. He looks from her, glued to her game as if her very life, or perhaps something more important depends on it, to the Massive. And back to Gaz, then back to the Massive. It is clear he is trying to decide if it is worth coming between Gaz and her game to save his mission. Of course, being Zim, he makes the less intelligent decision and pokes her.

"Turn the ship around! We have to save the Earth!"

"Be quiet" Gaz growls "I'm in the zone."

Zim shakes her so roughly she was very close to pressing the wrong button, the alien of course doesn't see he's so close to his doom. "You don't understand Gaz-Beast! We **_have_** to turn the ship around! If the Tallest find out I abandoned my mission they'll kill me!"

"And I care because?"

In an unrivaled display of stupidity, Zim raises his arm and hovers his finger above the power button on Gaz's Game Slave 2. Normally she would just use her skills in martial arts of spooky origins to break his arm or just detach it from the rest of his body, but the game is occupying both of her hands, so her only option was to send the Invader a glare of doom but even that did little to deter him.

 _"Either he's really brave or really stupid."_

The game flashes and beeps and we see the word, **_"Critical Hit_** " flash on the screen, and Gaz's eyes snap back to the game and how close Zim's finger was to the ** _ON/Off_** button.

"You wouldn't dare." She hissed.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" He asks tauntingly as he moves his finger ever closer to power button, smirking evilly he adds "I suggest you make a field log and fly this ship."

"Fine, but if I lose anything, and I mean **_anything_** , weapons, items, even a costume, I'll make you wish you were never born, even more than I wish you were never born."

Gaz presses a few buttons and put her GS2 in her pocket, she looks disgusted and angry at the fact that **_Zim_** of all people had been able to use her one weakness against her.

"Ha! Victory for Zim!"

"Yes, victory for Zim." She hissed "And I'm sure that **_Zim_** would much rather enjoy his victory outside in the cold vacuum of space rather than inside the nice warm comfy ship. "

"You know how to take the fun out of everything don't you?"

Gaz's eyes turned blood red

"Erm, yes ok, now onto Plan B," Zim said making some space between them "To distract Squishy and get him to hug the sun instead of the Earth."

"That was Plan A, you moron." Gaz pointed out "You just abandoned Plan B, remember"

"Onto Plan A then!"

"So, do I get to be the distraction?" Skoodge asked, somewhat excited "I get to help after all?"

"Yes, now while you distract him…"

"Be quiet," Gaz interrupted " _I_ have a **_better_** plan."

"But you haven't even heard my plan." Zim complained "Its amazing!"

"I don't have to." She says with an eye roll "And knowing, _you_ , your plan will get us all killed, my plan will just get _them_ killed, if we're lucky that is. Skoodge, was it?"

The fat Irken nods "That's my name."

"Don't care." Gaz grunts "You need to fly around Squishy, not so slow that it's easy for him to grab you, but not so fast that he gets dizzy and confused, the last thing we need is for him to be disoriented and start crashing into things, like well, my ship."

"I can do that."

"You better, so do other things to annoy him, do whatever it takes to get him annoyed enough for at you to try to destroy the ship. Then when he tries to grab you put on the boosters and head toward the sun, the plan is that he gets distracted by the sun and hugs it and if not then he'll just destroy you, and maybe that'll make him forget about the Earth, and if not, then at least we can say we tried."

"Hey!" Zim shouts "That was **_my_** plan!"

"Only better."

"As if, you little Earth Smeet!"

Gaz looks at Zim with a raised eyebrow as if to say _"prove me wrong."_

"Ok its ingenious!" He admits "It's good, not good like my plan bit still good."

"At least it's only about a 70% chance of death, better than usual." Dib spoke but then starts raving like lunatic "Wait a minute, if Squishy hugs the sun and it explodes we'll all freeze to death."

 _ **"HA!"**_ Zim smirks victoriously as he points at Gaz. "A flaw in your plan, _human_!"

Gaz in turn, grabs Zim by the hand and breaks it, much to his immense agony.

"You know Dib, for all the faith Dad puts in you, I'm sure he'd be sad to hear that you couldn't figure out by looking at Squishy that there's no way that he could possibly have enough strength to make the sun explode if he hugged it, it's too large and the core's too dense. His arms won't even be able to fit around it. And unless whatever he's made of isn't flammable, which I highly doubt, he'll just end up catching on fire. A worst-case scenario is that he explodes and it rains alien guts for a few days."

Zim, Dib, Skoodge, GIR, and MiniMoose look at Gaz in awe.

"I…I knew that." Zim muttered lamely.

"No, you didn't!" GIR giggles.

"Did I just rant?" Gaz shudders. "I've **_got_** to get out of this ship soon, before I start waving my arms in a manic way for no apparent reason, or worse, start referring to myself in the third person.

The Voot Cruiser flies off and begins to carry out Gaz's plan, annoying Squishy anyway they could think of. They fly around his head for a bit, shooting low powered lasers at him, they even throw GIR and MiniMoose out of the ship, for a while.

"Hey there little guy!" Squishy greeted.

 ** _"HI THERE PURPLE CHEEZE MOON!"_** GIR shouts back.

GIR pokes him for a bit and then starts to (again, only for lack of a better term) sing and dance around Squishy's head with MiniMoose, squeaking insanely the entire time, subjecting him to what Skoodge and Dib have been putting up with since the ship took off.

When Squishy sees Gir and MiniMoose return to the ship he is now sufficiently annoyed and tries to grab it, but Skoodge turns on the boosters and they head for the sun. Squishy is following them when he suddenly spots the sun, and his eyes widen in child-like glee.

"Ohh, so shiny!"

As Squishy heads toward the sun, his arms open in the stereotypical pre-hug pose, sappy music begins to play in the background and we alternate between shots of the sun and shots of Squishy going toward it (think of that overused scene of people running toward one another on a beach only this is a non-moving star and a giant planet hugging purple freak in the middle of space). Every shot we see of Squishy we see him sweating more and more until he stops and the music stops with him.

"Big, shiny, fiery ball too hot to hug. Squishy hug watery ball from before you!"

Squishy turns around and heads back toward the Earth. In Gaz's ship Dib and Skoodge's appear on the video screen again.

"Now what?" Dib asked, freaking out "Squishy's going to hug the Earth, and it's going to explode!"

"Just do it again, only this time lead him to the moon." Gaz ordered.

"And what will you be doing while we risk our lives to save the planet." Her brother asked.

"What else?" She retorts "I did my part, now I'm gonna continue where I left off."

Gaz gets her GS2 out of her pocket and starts playing, music coming from the console.

"Hey Zim." Skoodge got the other Irken's attention "Don't you think you should call the Tallest and find out _why_ they're here?"

"Oh yeah, I was wondering what they were doing here. Guess I'll call them."

Zim presses a button and the interior of his ship disappears, he presses a few more buttons and the Irken Insignia appears on the screen for a few seconds and then the interior of the Massive can be seen. Inside the Massive Red is awake, and his face is somewhere between angry and bored. Purple is sitting next to him and on the other side of his chair is a big red button labeled **_"Giant Laser to Use on Planet that Legendary Planet Hugging Blob Wants to Hug."_** and looks as if his fingers are itching for an excuse to press it.

"Hey, my Tallest! My Tallest! My-my-my Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, hey, hey, Over here! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest!"

A crewman looks up at the screen and, noticing Zim comes up to Red with his palm out-stretched as if he were expecting money or something.

"I told you things could get worse."

Red sighs and hands over moneys."

Zim does not notice the entire exchange as he continues to yell out "My Tallest" a few more times until he decided to ask "So… what's up?"

"See that giant blob thing trying to hug planets? Purple inquired, pointing at the screen.

 ** _"NO!"_** Zim gasps "There's a giant blob thing trying to hug planets?"

"Yeah and…. Wait, you _didn't_ know about Squishy?" Purple questioned "But you've been out here longer than we have."

Gaz sighs, pauses her game and kicks her ship-mate before indifferently telling the Irken leaders. "Yes, we have, it's just that Zim is a complete moron."

"Yes, I know. Anyway, what we…"

 ** _"WE?!"_** Red hollowed incredulously "I'll have you know that **_I_** had nothing to do with this stupidity, thank you very much."

Purple used the opportunity to glare at his co-ruler "Well then, what _I'm_ trying to do is blow up the next planet he wants to hug."

"Why would you even want to do that?" Gaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

"To make him sad, **_duh_**."

"That's stupid."

"Welcome to my world." Red grumbled "I'm stuck in a huge vessel with him!"

"I can top that." Gaz said "I'm stuck in a tiny ship with Zim."

"And I thought I had it bad!" Red points grinning evilly and laughs at the girl's expense "I feel so much better about my situation now! Thanks!"

"Zim, your leaders have gotten even dumber," Gaz hissed "I'm getting a headache from talking to them, it's your turn."

"To give you a headache?"

"No, you've already done that. Just talk to your stupid leaders already."

"Oh, right!" He agreed, turning to meet the Tallest. "So… what are you doing here again?"

Gaz looks at Zim for a moment, in awe of the sheer stupidity, his complete lack of short-term memory, or both. A few moments later she realizes she really doesn't care, and knowing that she won't be able to focus on her game until the idiotic Irkens stop talking, so she looks out the window to see what Dib, Skoodge and the others are doing in hopes that they will do something stupid that will get them all killed.

"So that was my ingenious plan that stopped Squishy from hugging the Earth." Zim finished explaining "Pretty neat, huh?"

"Wow that's actually pretty smart," Red agreed "You sure that was _you_ r plan Zim?"

"Yep, sure was. My plan. Mmyup."

Gaz snaps back to attention when she hears Zim taking all the credit. "Your plan? Ok, first my game, now _this_ , you're just asking for it now you idiot."

Red and Purple raise non-existent eyebrows.

"Don't listen to her My Tallest!" Zim tries to push Gaz out of the way. "She's… erm… she's under hypnosis! Yeah, hypnosis, that's it! Yes, her mind is under the control of Zim!"

"Oh yeah, he's got my totally under his control, can't you tell?" Gaz said with heavy sarcasm as she pulls Zim's antenna, quite painfully I might add.

Said Irken shrieks in pain. "That hurts! **_WHY MUST THIS BE?!"_**

"That wasn't very enthusiastic. I guess I should've pulled harder."

So, she pulls harder.

Zim screams in agony and falls to the ground, whimpering pathetically "Please stop that."

Gaz roughly pulls Zim up by his antenna "Not until you tell me what you've learned."

"Not to say or do anything that will make you angry."

"Good," She lets go. "That concept took you a lot less time than Dib to grasp, I'm not 100% optimistic about it sticking, though. What do you need to say now?"

Zim rubs his antenna, swallowing his pride and ego he croaked "The plan was all her idea."

"See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

We see a shot of the Tallest, who are confused, entertained and slightly frightened at the scene they have just witnessed.

"If you want to make Squishy sad, you might want to hurry up and blow up the moon, seeing as he's about to hug it."

 ** _"No!"_** Purple screamed "I Must make Squishy sad!"

Purple starts pressing button frantically, and random moons (now floating around without planets [which I am aware technically makes them asteroids, but I'm going to refer to them as moons because I feel like it] due to the earlier destruction of Mars and the more recent destruction of Jupiter) are shot with the laser and blown up.

"Which moon?!" Purple asked frantically as he kept pressing buttons.

"The _Earth's_ moon!" Gaz clarified, muttering under her breath _"Idiot."_

But it's too late, Squishy has already hugged the moon and little moony pieces are floating in space, many of them being pulled into Earth's atmosphere due to the planet's gravity. Squishy smiled a big, wide smile, the kind that only a giant, mutant, planet hugging freak can smile.

"But I wanted to make him sad!" Purple whined in a voice similar to that of a toddler throwing a tantrum. "It's not fair! It's not fair! **_IT'S NOT FAIR!"_**

Squishy begins to head away from the Earth.

"Follow it!" Purple ordered "I'm sad now and I can't be sad! Squishy has to be sad and I won't be happy till he's sad!"

The Irken crewmen looked at each other in a mixture of confusion and bewilderment "Anybody caught that?"

"I'm just going to ignore that sickening déjà vu feeling." Red groaned in despair "Will this day **_ever_** end?"

The screen with the communication with the Massive suddenly goes black and the Massive speeds after the giant hugger.

That is, if suddenly several little space ships that came out of nowhere hadn't appeared and collided with Squishy.

"Why hello little friends!" Squishy said with glee, which didn't last long since several robot beavers came out of their ships and began to explode all over the giant purple guy.

" ** _Ahh!_** These hugs **_BUUUUUURRRRNNNN!"_**

Then for so apparent reason, Squishy imploded in the cold vacuum of space, much to the confusion and amazement of everyone who witnessed the whole thing."

"Erm…" Dib said, scratching the back of his head "What just happened?"

* * *

On a planet, far, far away.

We see a little red alien, kept putting re-built robot beavers on to several ships, angrily proclaiming "My space pal gives out the **_worst_** presents ever!"

* * *

The Massive was now covered in the remains of Squishy.

"Well my Tallest." A brave crewman dares to speak "You _did_ what an end to this day."

Red, pressed a button and a tube sends the Irken out in space.

"Me and my big mouth." He grumbled "But at least, things are back to normal."

 ** _"DIE YOU PURPLE HUGGING FREAK!"_** Purple screamed like a madman as he began to attack some of Squishy's flesh that he somehow got inside the Massive.

…. With a spork.

 ** _"THAT WILL TEACH YOU NOT TO BLOW UP WHAT I WANT TO BLOW UP!"_**

Red once more began to daydream of ways to kill Purple.

* * *

Immediately Skoodge and Dib appear on the screen of Tak's ship.

"We did it! We did it!" Dib cheered "I dunno _how_ but we saved the Earth!"

"Don't remind us." Zim groaned

"My moon! Master promised me I could have the moon!" GIR begins to criy at his loss "It was supposed to be made of cheese! I wanted my cheese! I wanted it good!"

"Eh, GIR." Skoodge spoke tentatively "the Earth moon **_wasn't_** made of cheese!"

The S.I.R Unit wails even louder. "My cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssseeeee!"

"GIR the moon's not…" Dib sighs "Well, I guess I should be happy. I'm fairly sure this is a victory for me. I mean the Earth _is_ saved and I'm not in any kind of restraint intended for the criminally insane. Yeah, this is good."

"I guess we should head back, right Zim?" Skoodge shrugs "Eh, Zim?"

Gaz and Zim, who had become annoyed and cut the transmission long ago are already half way back to the Earth. Skoodge turns the Voot around and follows them.

The ships land in Dib's backyard; Gaz's first, Zim's Voot a bit later and the occupants get out. They soon realize that pieces of the moon as well as Squishy's flesh are falling form the sky causing a horrible meteor shower.

"Yay! It's raining cheese!" GIR runs around and tires to eat the moon rocks with more success than should be physically possible, he also gets some meat on his mouth and blows it out like bubble gum.

"Yum! Squishy!"

Zim slaps forehead while Gaz simply rolls her eyes, Skoodge's eyes twitch in disgust and Dib simply stares with a face that says "Oookaaayy."

"Nyah!"

I just realized, that without the moon horrible things are going to happen all over the planet!" Dib proclaimed his eyes widening in horror "The tsunamis will be terrible, we won't have any tides without the moon, nights will horribly dark! And we'll have to cancel the big Swollen Eyeball werewolf hunt next weekend!"

Gaz picks up moon a rock and throws it at her brother's head-

" ** _Ow!_** What was that for?"

"Mainly your voice, but also because I couldn't resist hitting such an enormous target."

Zim snickers, he also couldn't resist and picks up a rock and throws it at Dib's head "Wow, this is fun!"

"Hey, quit it!"

Obviously, his enemy or his sister did no such thing and instead they shared an evil smile as they picked up several rocks.

"First one to knock him unconscious wins." Gaz said.

"You're on Gaz-Beast!"

Dib shrieks and runs, trying to evade the moon rocks, which was difficult since he also tried to avoid the chunks of flesh still raining down on Earth.

While Gaz and Zim continue their abuse of Dib, GIR continues with his consumption of moon rocks/flesh, MiniMoose floats there, squeaking in an insane and happy way while Skoodge just stands there, trying (and failing miserably) to make sense of it all.

Gaz throws last rock at her brother "Ok, this is getting boring."

"Yeah, I didn't think I could get tired of hurting Dib," Zim agreed "but I am."

"Now what?"

"Up for some video games Earth-smell?"

"Always."

"Skoodge, you coming?"

"You and Zim can be on a team," Gaz said "Maybe then it might take me more than 30 seconds to win."

"Alrighty." Skoodge shrugs but worriedly looks at Dib. "Should we just leave him here? I mean he's not moving."

"You can bring him inside if you want to," Gaz said dismissively "I'm not going to."

"I thought that here on Earth the "sibling" relationship was one of love and caring." Skoodge said, puzzled by the cold attitude the girl had towards her brother.

"Man, you know less about humans than Zim does." She scoffs "And that's saying something."

 ** _"WUAHAHAHAHAHA!"_** Zim laughs evilly "You know less than I do! …. Hey! Wait a minute!"

Much later, Dib eventually woke up, trapped under a layer of Squishy Flesh.

"Hello? Anybody there?" He asks, "I'm trapped here! Somebody! **_HELP!_** It's smells really **_bad_** in here!"

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

 ** _WHOO! That was a long one!_**

 ** _Now for those who didn't notice the "in jokes" in both chapters, here they are:_**

 ** _The computer's dream of being a comic book artist is a reference to the fact that Jhonen Vasquez is his voice as some of you pointed out._**

 ** _The alien who send the beavers as well as Zim's plan as a whole is a reference to Issue 27 of the comics._**

 ** _The pirate bees that Dib was "documenting" are from the unmade season two episode "Beefus Megabombus."_**

 ** _According to the plot of Squishy, Eric Trueheart claimed that an Armada of different aliens were going to be the ones to seek revenge on Squishy by destroying his next target to make him sad but since I didn't want to create a bunch of non-canon characters for this fic and I doubt that the "Resisty" were planned to get involved I decided to have the Tallest here instead because I just thought it would be funnier._**

 ** _Eric Trueheart also hinted, albeit not confirmed, that Squishy was going to be killed at the end of his debut episode, by saying "Ah Squishy. You died too young" which of course happened in this version._**

 ** _The way Squishy died was to be a reference to the exploding whale fiasco that happened in the city of Florence in the 70's, due to all the flesh hitting the Earth._**

 ** _Gotta feel bad for GIR since looks like now he won't be getting the moon but like anything else in IZ, think of a "reset button" is being pressed here like on the show and comics._**

 ** _Anyway, what did you guys thought of this story?_**

 ** _Remember that constructive criticism is always appreciated._**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


End file.
